Not for the Weak of Heart (or Funny Bone)

(Originally posted on Myspace 7/3/2008)

Oh my lorna! I was packing to move and I just found a page of quotes from our old quote board at Whitopia! It's hysterical! I felt the need to share. If you're easily offended or at all wholesome, maybe you should not read this... Also if you're opposed to sacrilege, statements about sex, or anything else that starts with an "s", turn back now.
Oh, and these are all taken completely out of context... which if you ask me, makes them even better!



"You'll feel bein' pretty good by then!" -Ember (my sister, while visiting)


"I've never been in love, but I have stepped in it." -Rachel


"Thanks for worrying about my package." -Whitney B.


"Okay, I'm not a tap dancer, I'm a liar!" -Whitney H.


"She rubbed her butt all over my naked sack!" -Cord


"The most horrifying musical number EVER!" -Rachel


"What is a 'plan'?" -Rachel


"Hey, this is nasty, what's going on in the sink--I'll be honest." -Suzanne


"Oh my goodness, your mouth is huge, isn't it? You could fit five people in there! Now remember, I said five people, not five men..." -Dr. St. Pierre


"Chili Chicken Fartless..." -Suzanne


"All I hear is 'G-strings' and 'am I hurting your body?' 'No, only my chest'." -Jess, Rachel, and Liz (I'm pretty sure one of us said this after hearing a conversation between the other two...)


"That has to be a huge puke to be in you nose!" -Rachel


"Let's invite Dr. St. Pierre to our sad party! She'd be the life of it!" -anonymous...


"Nobody wants to kiss a guy with Rachel-hair." -Whitney B.


"It's asexual, like me." -Chelsea


"Ghetty Bootoe." -Suzanne


"Wasn't there a lion in the nativity?" -Dr. St. Pierre


"Hey, gym boy, how was the gym?" ... "...Tim?" -Whitney H. and Matt


"Do you care if I eat your food? Anybody can eat." -Suzanne


"It's like finding Jesus in your birthday cake!" -Dr. St. Pierre


"I wasn't sure if it was brass; I though maybe it was, like, metal!" -Whitney H. (referring to a Horn in F)


"It doesn't have the beautiful VIBRATIONS of the viola." -Dr. Stitt


"I dang sure am!" -Cord


"My butt is exit only, thank you!" -Rachel


"That's a nice body, Rachel. I'd pay about $800 for that body." -Dr. St. Pierre


"You could make fudgy fuddy frosting out of it!" -Rachel


"Ugly arm skin..." -Sophia (with accompanying dance)


"It wudn't." -Whitney B.


"Chair-you-bim." -Modesitt


"It smelled like... rotten cheese dust... uh huh huh... I'm serious!" -Rachel


"We'll bring some T.P. if we have to." -John Huston


"I'm not gonna give you five dollars for drinking some grease!" -Suzanne


"I would listen to some sex and then visit some boys!" -Rachel (paraphrasing Suzanne's Oregon story)


"I don't want to hear about your naked sack anymore!" ... "I'm sorry! It's HUGE!!!" -Suzanne and Cord


"It's okay, I didn't put my mouth on here." -Matt


"I would pay money for sex... Uh..." -Rachel


"Mmm... cheesy jamba chicken." -Whitney H.


"Sugar, water, and purple..." -J.P. quoting Dave Chapelle (all day, every day)


"Do big peaches make you laugh?" -Matt to Whitney H.


"I asked the prophet. I asked old Gordo." -J.P.


"You can tell me anything that bugs me about you." -Suzanne