For those who requested it, the talk I gave in the Charles River Ward on 6/29/2014 is below. What I actually said may have strayed from this typed copy a bit, but the gist is the same. Also, please don't judge this copy too harshly; it was meant to be heard, not seen. =)
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Brothers and
sisters, the topic I was asked to speak about today essentially boils down to
one word: treasure. If you’re like me, maybe the first thing you picture when
you hear the word treasure is a pirate with an eye patch, a parrot, and a map;
and then maybe the next thing you picture is Uncle Scrooge taking his daily
money bath, diving in and then leaping like a dolphin through the coins. Well,
that’s just one kind of treasure. God has given us treasure in many forms. He
has given some of us money, yes; but He has also given us time, talents, and
even the ability to direct our thoughts. Today I would like to talk about some
specific ways to prioritize in our lives and some practical ways to determine
where our focus is.
In Matthew
6:19-21 and 3 Nephi 13:19-21, The Savior taught the following to the Jews and
to the Nephites:
“Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
“But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”
In the November 1991
Ensign, Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, “We cannot achieve lasting happiness by
pursuing the wrong things. …’You can never get enough of what you don’t need,
because what you don’t need won’t satisfy you.’”
In the October 2012 General
Conference, Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf said:
“Our Heavenly Father sees our real potential. He knows things about us that we do not know ourselves. He prompts us during our lifetime to fulfill the measure of our creation, to live a good life, and to return to His presence.” (close quote)
I think it’s very difficult
for us to comprehend how important we are to our Heavenly Father; however, we
can occasionally glimpse His vast love for us during our very human experience
on this earth. I feel His love for us when I learn something new about myself;
when I hold a newborn baby or teach a child something new and see that sparkle
of intelligence growing inside of them; when I find a new friend; when I write
a new song; and sometimes at very unexpected moments.
Four years ago, I was
working as a nanny in Washington, D.C. The child I cared for was 5 weeks old
when I started watching her, and her parents were both doctors completing their
residency. As such, my schedule was very irregular, and there were a lot of
naps taken by all in the household. On one such occasion after I had been up
with a sick baby for many hours while her parents were on call, the mother of
the family, Bridget, came home and took the baby for a nap. I decided to nap
also. Just as I was drifting off to sleep in my bedroom in the basement, I
heard a loud screech of tires and a huge “thunk”. I thought I was dreaming, as
I heard Bridget call my name and run down the hallway upstairs. As I heard the
screen door slam, though, I realized I was not asleep and something was amiss.
I ran up the stairs and out the front door to find that a woman driving down
our street had hit a 10-year-old boy when he had decided to test out his new
scooter by racing it down his driveway and into the street. To relieve any
concern right now, I will tell you that the boy had only a broken arm, which
surprised us all, especially considering the way his scooter was inextricably
wrapped around her car’s front right tire. As I arrived on the scene, Bridget
was administering first aid and had already called an ambulance. I approached
the woman who had been driving the car, who also happened to be holding the
baby, since she had been the closest person when Bridget had needed to examine
the boy and keep others from moving him. The woman was visibly upset, and I
think the only thing keeping her calm was the fact that she was holding a baby,
so she knew she couldn’t lose it. By this time, many of the neighbors had come
out of their houses and were staring at her accusingly, asking her questions
and only making things worse. Although the woman answered their question--she
was only going 20 mph; she lived in the neighborhood and had kids of her own,
so she always drove slowly; he had come out of nowhere—she was focused on the
boy and obviously worried. In that moment, I felt a strong surge of love for
this woman. It was completely overwhelming. I felt very strongly that she was a
daughter of God, that He loved her very much, and that she needed some support
in that moment. I pointed out to the woman that the boy was responsive, he had
a doctor caring for him, and that everything was going to be okay. I gave her a
hug and stayed with her until she was allowed to leave the scene. That moment
is something I will never forget, because it was a time that Heavenly Father
showed me how much He cares for His children, even when others don’t understand
why, and that He loves us no matter what. We truly are His treasure.
In the most recent general
conference, Elder Michael Teh of the Seventy said, “In times of calamity or
tragedy, the Lord has a way of refocusing us and our priorities. All of a
sudden, all the material things we worked so hard to acquire do not matter. All
that matters is our family and our relationships with others.” (close
quote)
This experience reiterated
to me something that my parents taught me about prioritizing. They said,
“Remember how we prioritize the 3 Ps: First people, then principles, and THEN
programs.” My siblings and I were taught to always consider the feelings of
others when choosing what to say and do. Although this left us open to the pain
of disappointment or frustration when others did not return the favor, I have
found it’s a way to connect more deeply with others and understand their
desires and motivations.
In the October 2006 General
Conference, Elder M. Russell Ballard said:
“…focus on people and principles—not on programs. One of the most important things we do through the gospel of Jesus Christ is to build people... Frankly, it’s much easier to just manage programs than it is to understand and truly serve people… Our goal should always be to use the programs of the Church as a means to lift, encourage, assist, teach, love, and perfect people [emphasis added]. “Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God” (D&C 18:10). Programs are tools. Their management and staffing must not take priority over the needs of the people they are designed to bless and to serve.”
In the April 1986 General
Conference, Glenn L. Pace, 2nd counselor in the Presiding Bishopric
said:
“As great as the various programs of the Church are, they carry with them a potential danger. If we are not careful, it is possible to get so wrapped up in the plan that we forget the principles. We can fall into the trap of mistaking traditions for principles and confusing programs with their objectives… Programs blindly followed bring us to a discipline of doing good, but principles properly understood and practiced bring us to a disposition to do good.” (close quote)
As we learn to see those
around us as children of God rather than parts of a program we happen to be in
together, we will gain better perspective and begin to see that while each of
us has his or her own path, we are all travelers together.
It absolutely
floors me to think of the vast amount of experience there is in this room.
Every single person in this room has a story. More than one. Stories of joy and triumph, yes. And
stories of trials you’ve overcome. Stories of heartbreak and tragedy. Whether
it’s a failed relationship, a lost loved one, a missed career opportunity, or
unmet expectations and unfulfilled hopes. If you’re like me, you may have found
yourself focusing your thoughts, time, and talents into these past events far
too often for far too long. It’s reasonable to take time to heal. Believe me,
I’ve written my fair share of break up songs! But if you find this process
carrying on beyond what is necessary, it’s time to change your priorities. Part
of the beauty of this life is that we have a choice. It’s time to redirect your
resources towards other efforts. Sometimes we get so bogged down in what we
don’t have, we end up perpetuating the cycle.
So, as an
example of this, one time when I was a freshman in high school, about 14, I
came home from basketball practice absolutely famished. It was a long, rough
practice, so I was hungry and angry. I was hangry, as we now call it. I decided
to make some toast because it was quick and easy. I got out some bread, threw
it in the toaster, and pushed the lever down. And it bounced back up. And I
pushed it down. And it bounced back up. And I pushed it down. And it bounced
back up. And we carried on like this for quite some time, but eventually I started
to get pretty upset, so of course, like I’m sure most of us have done, I was
like, “MOOOMMMM, this stupid ancient toaster is BROKEN!!!” So my mom came in like, “Stop screaming,
I’m right here,” walked over, pushed the lever down, and it popped back up. I
was of course, like, “Obviously I tried that!” And she just ignored my sass,
leaned over, plugged the toaster in, pushed the lever down, and walked away. And
I was all like, “Oh.”
So the point
here is that sometimes we want something really badly, and it’s even a
righteous desire, and we may even have an idea of how to get what we want. But
maybe we don’t have the perspective to do it on our own, or maybe we’re missing
a fundamental step because we are focusing on something that, while essential
and good, comes later down the line than the step we skipped. We are looking
beyond the mark. Right? One of the first steps of using most kitchen appliances
is to make sure the appliance is plugged in first, isn’t it? But sometimes we
skip those steps because we take them for granted.
Steps that are
generally essential for any process are:
11. Devote thought to making a plan.
22. Set your goal.
33. Set smaller objectives to help you
accomplish your goal. Make sure you’re not missing any necessary steps.
44.
Set
aside time to accomplish your goal. This means taking time daily or weekly to
work towards your goal.
55.
Consult
others.
So let’s apply this to a
few real life situations. Let’s say you want to run a marathon (more realistic
for some of us than others). First you devote your thoughts to it to decide
it’s what you want to do. Make sure it’s something you actually want. A
marathon is a big commitment, and you shouldn’t just jump into it. Second, set
your goal. Determine a reasonable timeline for your goal, and build in some
flexibility in case you need more or less time. Third, set smaller objectives
to help you accomplish your goal. You can’t just jump in and run a marathon.
You’d likely die. You may want to start with smaller races and build your way
up slowly. Fourth, dedicate the necessary time to accomplish your plan. Be
aware that the amount of time you’re willing to dedicate to your goal may
directly influence how long it takes to accomplish your goal. Fifth, consult
others. People who have run marathons already and close family and friends can
offer support, advice, and encouragement. As always, consulting with the Lord
through prayer is very helpful.
Now let’s bring this
approach a little closer to home and take on the wonderful world of
relationships. (I know you’re all really excited that I’m throwing this in at
the end of my talk.) I often hear people speak of “someday” when we discuss
relationships and marriage in the singles wards. Sometimes I’m the person
saying it. From time to time during my singles ward experience, I’ve heard
people complain that they’re not in a relationship or married, sometimes as a
thinly veiled joke, sometimes very seriously. I know for many of us, it is
something that we think about often. Many of us have a desire to have a family.
It’s a righteous, healthy, great desire! So let’s make sure we are covering all
the steps to get there.
11.
Let’s
devote some thought to making a plan. Do you want to have a family? If you said
no, you can ignore me for the next few minutes. If you said yes, let’s make a
plan.
22.
Set
your goal: the goal is to get married and have a family. Awesome.
33.
Let’s
set some smaller objectives along the way to make our task less daunting. Let’s
say the plan is to meet people, ask them out on dates, and repeat those steps
as necessary until you find someone who mutually agrees to date you
exclusively. Perhaps you’ll get engaged. That may or may not work out. These
steps are not guaranteed to work the first, second, third, fiftieth, or
hundredth time. Which leads me to step four.
44.
Set
aside time to accomplish your goal: this could take a while, but it will take
even longer if you’re not going on dates at all or not making time in your
schedule for dating. Set aside the necessary time and BE PATIENT with yourself,
others, and the Lord. Like marathon training, you may need to take brief breaks
from time to time, but always get back in the race.
55.
Consult
others: have open and honest communication. If you are on a date, call it a
date. It’s not the end of the world, nor is it a lifetime commitment. Texting
and emailing are convenient and fun, but it’s okay to call people on the phone
sometimes, too. (that’s really hard for me to say because I am not a phone
person, but there I said it.) And as I’m sure you’re already doing, consult
with the Lord about the things near and dear to your heart.
Running a marathon and
pursuing marriage and family are just two examples, but really these steps
could apply to any goal in our lives, whether spiritual or temporal. In closing, I
challenge you all to take stock of what matters most to you, and then set your
priorities and goals. Reevaluate and make sure you’re not missing any steps.
That toaster is not going to plug itself in. In our world of endless
opportunities, it has never been more important than it
is now to recognize and pursue what we really want most using all the treasure
at our disposal. It may be time to check in with yourself to see where you
stand, and if that is where you want to be.
After all, Elder Russell M.
Ballard said, “May we focus on the simple ways we can serve in the kingdom of
God, always striving to change lives, including our own.”
