Falling

(Originally posted on Myspace 12/15/2008)

(From this post on=old stuff posted on other sites originally)

Feels like I'm on the edge,
but which way will I fall?
Last time you changed my everything.
You took my heart. You took it all.
The pieces drifted back to me slowly-
one by one.
Everything was different-
they weren't sure they were home.
And so I took the pieces and tried
to make them whole.
I thought I'd made them stronger;
I hoped that they would know
better than they did before
you came into my life.
I hoped they would be able
to separate the truth from lies.
And then I prayed my broken heart
had paid special attention
and would not let me repeat mistakes
I'd rather not mention.
But all these broken pieces want
is to be wherever you are-
to hold you close, to feel your touch,
to kiss away your every scar.
So if you want to be with me
there's not much I can do,
since all the pieces of my heart
only want to be with you.

Walking on Fire

(Originally posted on Myspace 7/23/08)

DISCLAIMER: Don't try this at home.

So Monday night, I walked on fire. Yes, I said fire. The prevailing questions seem to be: Really? When? Where? How? Why? Let me break it down for those of you who are asking.

REALLY? Yes. I really did. Three times. I realize this is shocking to those of you who know what a chicken I can be, but it really happened.

WHEN? Monday. Round about 10 p.m. The actually preparation started around 7 p.m.

WHERE? West Jordan, UT. I attended a firewalk hosted by my friend Lynell and directed by Trent from Quantum Step, Inc. If you have questions about that, go to www.firewalkutah.com.

HOW? Wow I just have to say that a week ago I disagreed, but it IS possible. The coals were about 1200* fahrenheit at their hottest and didn't get much cooler than 900. Yes, there are supposed to be that many zeros on those numbers! We've all been told all our lives it's impossible to touch fire without being burned, but I'm here to tell you that's an illusion. I walked on it, all my weight, three times--BAREFOOT-- and there is not one mark on me. It didn't hurt. In fact, it kinda felt like walking on packing peanuts or old marshmallows.

WHY? Because I needed to. I heard about the firewalk, and something in me said, "You HAVE to do that!!!!" and then I said, "Um, what?!" (Yes, I talk to myself. Don't deny you do it too.) I just knew it was something I needed to do.
I walked three times.
The first time was the most difficult. I spent the entire seminar trying to find what I was walking across fire for. As we walked out to the fire, I imagined all the people I love and all the people who love me on the other side: my Heavenly Father, Jesus, my parents, my siblings, my siblings-in-law, my nieces and nephews, my friends, my future children, my ancestors. And as I was imagining, all the people started to step to either side, and I saw me walking towards myself on the opposite side of the fire. I stopped and waited. And that was when I knew: I needed to walk on fire for myself. I needed to know I could. I needed to connect with myself on a higher level. I am capable of so much, but in the past I always denied or put myself down. I kept that visual in my head and in my heart. I was fully in the moment. 100% in myself. My heart felt like it was pounding out of my chest and out of my back, like it was swollen with expectations. I lifted my foot, and strode across the coals. There was no pain, no heat; there was only connection, joy, love, peace, and enthusiasm about life.
It's possible that some people will see this as insanity, but it was one of the purest, sanest, most perfect, empowering moments in my life. There was such clarity.

So, if you should ever have the opportunity to go to a firewalk (even just to watch), please at least consider; it's always your choice once you're there what to learn from it and whether or not to walk. It's your experience.
Know the possibilities, and always expect the best!

Namasté.

Not for the Weak of Heart (or Funny Bone)

(Originally posted on Myspace 7/3/2008)

Oh my lorna! I was packing to move and I just found a page of quotes from our old quote board at Whitopia! It's hysterical! I felt the need to share. If you're easily offended or at all wholesome, maybe you should not read this... Also if you're opposed to sacrilege, statements about sex, or anything else that starts with an "s", turn back now.
Oh, and these are all taken completely out of context... which if you ask me, makes them even better!



"You'll feel bein' pretty good by then!" -Ember (my sister, while visiting)


"I've never been in love, but I have stepped in it." -Rachel


"Thanks for worrying about my package." -Whitney B.


"Okay, I'm not a tap dancer, I'm a liar!" -Whitney H.


"She rubbed her butt all over my naked sack!" -Cord


"The most horrifying musical number EVER!" -Rachel


"What is a 'plan'?" -Rachel


"Hey, this is nasty, what's going on in the sink--I'll be honest." -Suzanne


"Oh my goodness, your mouth is huge, isn't it? You could fit five people in there! Now remember, I said five people, not five men..." -Dr. St. Pierre


"Chili Chicken Fartless..." -Suzanne


"All I hear is 'G-strings' and 'am I hurting your body?' 'No, only my chest'." -Jess, Rachel, and Liz (I'm pretty sure one of us said this after hearing a conversation between the other two...)


"That has to be a huge puke to be in you nose!" -Rachel


"Let's invite Dr. St. Pierre to our sad party! She'd be the life of it!" -anonymous...


"Nobody wants to kiss a guy with Rachel-hair." -Whitney B.


"It's asexual, like me." -Chelsea


"Ghetty Bootoe." -Suzanne


"Wasn't there a lion in the nativity?" -Dr. St. Pierre


"Hey, gym boy, how was the gym?" ... "...Tim?" -Whitney H. and Matt


"Do you care if I eat your food? Anybody can eat." -Suzanne


"It's like finding Jesus in your birthday cake!" -Dr. St. Pierre


"I wasn't sure if it was brass; I though maybe it was, like, metal!" -Whitney H. (referring to a Horn in F)


"It doesn't have the beautiful VIBRATIONS of the viola." -Dr. Stitt


"I dang sure am!" -Cord


"My butt is exit only, thank you!" -Rachel


"That's a nice body, Rachel. I'd pay about $800 for that body." -Dr. St. Pierre


"You could make fudgy fuddy frosting out of it!" -Rachel


"Ugly arm skin..." -Sophia (with accompanying dance)


"It wudn't." -Whitney B.


"Chair-you-bim." -Modesitt


"It smelled like... rotten cheese dust... uh huh huh... I'm serious!" -Rachel


"We'll bring some T.P. if we have to." -John Huston


"I'm not gonna give you five dollars for drinking some grease!" -Suzanne


"I would listen to some sex and then visit some boys!" -Rachel (paraphrasing Suzanne's Oregon story)


"I don't want to hear about your naked sack anymore!" ... "I'm sorry! It's HUGE!!!" -Suzanne and Cord


"It's okay, I didn't put my mouth on here." -Matt


"I would pay money for sex... Uh..." -Rachel


"Mmm... cheesy jamba chicken." -Whitney H.


"Sugar, water, and purple..." -J.P. quoting Dave Chapelle (all day, every day)


"Do big peaches make you laugh?" -Matt to Whitney H.


"I asked the prophet. I asked old Gordo." -J.P.


"You can tell me anything that bugs me about you." -Suzanne